by Claire Finucane

I’m sitting in the waiting room of my therapist office. 

I come here twice a week. 

I don’t like this and sometime/lots of times feel I’m wasting my parents’ money. 

When is the end result? 

When do I just toughen up and be me? 

Is this an attack on my true self? 

And so what if I have these sad beliefs about whom I am. 

What if I am just sad belief about who I am? 

Maybe I’m just sensitive and angry. 

Maybe I’m just happiness and sadness…darkness and light. Black or white thinking and functioning borderline personality disorder diet version drink. 

I used to be much worse but now I’m sober and now I’m accepting that enlightenment isn’t a mountain to reach but a life long climb. And by enlightenment I mean self love and by enlightenment I mean not getting depressed by others so called accomplishments and pretty pictures on social media and by enlightenment I mean just ok and at peace with myself and always willing to work harder the next day. 

I’m still cold and I’m still waiting for my therapy appointment and right now at this time in this place that is enough.

Claire Glass is a Los Angeles/SGV storyteller, poet, writer and creator. Her writing focuses on the insanity of the human experience, queerness, addiction, recovery and raw emotions, all with unabashed honesty and weirdness. You can find Claire’s work on instagram @clairebearwrites and experience her storytelling all over the Los Angeles area. 

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